Saturday, September 24, 2011

Nature's way: I think I'll pass on that..!!

Please forgive me if this post gets a little bizzare, because I'm drinking as I write this. What !! Apple juice can intoxicate you.
This incident occured a couple of days ago as I got out of my car at my company's car parking, I saw the most beautiful sight. Approximately, 4.5734 feet away from where I was standing, I saw a crow and a mouse making love. It was as if 'Mother Nature' had herself directed this beautiful scene. I almost started imagining what their offspring would look like. At this exact moment, the mouse stopped moving. And when I took a closer look, it turned out, that it was the same old story with the same old climax. The crow was ripping apart the mouse with its beak.
That's alright. That is Mother Nature for you, right?
I mean the mouse was having a quite day in the sewers of Gurgaon (the existence of which is widey debated), and probably a sudden hunger pang made it seek the light of day. Maybe, he was crossing the street with outmost care so he does not get runover by a car. Moving very carefully towards a garbage buffet, watching his every step, unaware of what fate had decided for him. He didn't deserve to get killed. He was in the prime of his life, he most probably had a family to support. He did not deserve a big black beak feasting on his intestines right in the middle of the street in broad daylight.
Too dramatic??
But come to think of it, how is it any different from young students dissecting a mouse in their biology laboratories, doing experiments, the results of which are already known.

Trust me when I say this, Mother Nature is a very Cruel Lady.

I stand corrected. Cruel and funny.
"Survival of the fittest" a term coined by Herbert Spencer after reading Charles Darwin's "Origin of Species".
Why trust him, he was an idiot, not to mention, he was a racist of the highest order. Sir Francis Galton (Darwin's cousin), founder of the Eugenics Movement, which advocates the use of practices aimed at improving the genetic composition of the population by extermination of undesired population groups (blacks).
How does that relate?? Well, he was Darwin's cousin. They would have at least some similar genes. This is exactly how Darwin's theory works. Its totally baseless!!
Well not completely baseless on 2nd thoughts. Today, its more like "Survival of the Richest".
Earlier, if you wanted a chicken soup, you'd have to catch a chicken first, but now you can just order it. Its that simple and only rich can afford it.
Below is a conversation between a female patient with an acute case of gout and a doctor's assistant from "NotAlways"
Assistant: ”Hello, this is Dr. ***’s office. Can I help you?”

Patient: “Yeah, is there an injection I can get for my gout?”

Assistant: ”I don’t think so. I think we only give injections for muscle pain, but I can double-check for you.”

Patient: “Yeah, check. I’m going away this weekend and my ankle really hurts. My primary doctor says it’s not
gout. I had these lab tests done, and they all say it’s not gout, but it really hurts.”

Assistant: “If it's not gout, then why do you want to know about a gout injection?”

Patient: “Well, they say it’s not gout, but I was at a bar and a guy looked at it and said, ‘That’s gout, all right!’”

Assistant: “… a guy at the bar?”

Patient: “Yeah. And he gave me one of his pills and it really helped.”

Assistant: “You took a pill from some guy in a bar?!”

Patient: “Yeah, it really helped and it was gout medicine, so I think I have gout. So is there an injection?”

Assistant: “Hold, please.”

(At this point, the assistant goes ask her manager if a gout injection exists, which it doesn’t, and explain to her the situation. She agrees that this is completely stupid, but that if the woman wants gout medication, we can prescribe it.)

Assistant: “Thanks for holding. Turns out there’s no injection for gout.”

Patient: “Really? My ankle’s killing me.”

Assistant: “Well, if the medicine you took worked for you, we may be able to write you a prescription for it.”

Patient: “Oh, I already have a prescription.”

Assistant: “You… already have a prescription that stops your pain? Are you taking it?”

Patient: “No, I thought an injection might be faster.”

Assistant: *long pause* “Is there anything else you need today?”

Patient: “No, thank you.” *click*

Assistant: “Oh. My God.”

Now this woman might not be the fittest, but I do hope that she survives..!!


  1. Seriously! LOL!! That "survival of the richest" part was brilliant yaar!

    1. Thank you.
      That's the most random stuff off the top of my head.


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